Thursday, April 19, 2012
Je relatie kan beter (Praktische psychologie) ,Dirk Mulder(redactie)
This is a Dutch book about relationships and making them better. It's a psychology book .I figured I'd read something informative and also because I'm going to be studying psychology or maybe sociology when I graduate.
This book is comprised of pieces from articles from the psychology magazine. I'm guessing that's a Dutch magazine. The book is pretty much divided into 6 sections which deal with 1.finding the one 2.unrequited love 3.being together/staying together 4. being faithful/unfaithful 5.when you're relationship isn't going well 6. and changes in a relationship.
There are also some shortened versions of quizzes. They're shortened from the original that was in the magazine. If you have a partner you can take these quizzes together. You can test you're intimacy level, the color of you're love, test your fear of you're partner cheating , you could test how good you are at fighting. The first test is a compatibility test.
There are also some funny myths that are mentioned in this book like:
1. you can't fall in love with 2 people at once, this was a bit annoying because then you're insinuating that you can love to people at once. According to this book you can .Sometimes you get something different from another person than from your partner. 2. "men are naturally not monogamous, that's a woman thing' ha! well women seem to be becoming less mono and more poly. So dudes better watch it. 3.Your lover should be your best friend and 4. you never get over a partner that cheats according to this book you can.
I enjoyed this book and if I learned a lot I'm not sure. In a relationship you should be open and clear about things you like and don't like. You should be honest to each other. You should be you and not lose yourself by always compromising or always trying to be there for your partner. You should give as much as you get.
I've mentioned the tests right . After reading this book and taking the tests it turns out I avoid relationships and have intimacy issues. I refuse to believe this. oh and I'm a selfish lover. I am selfish I'll give you that.
But I can't accept this because I've never been in a relationship or really loved. I would be an awesome lover!! stupid book.
Other fun/interesting things I liked : the best kind of love is the unfulfilled love. Unrequited love!! I agree this is the best kind of love. Nobody gets hurt and it's fun while it lasts. I can totally do this kind of love. I also liked the "conspiracy of silence" apparently this is something that happens between somebody who's crushing on a girl/boy and asks this person of interest to go out (this happens many times) but the boy/girl always gives an excuse that they can't go. The boy/girl is indirectly turning the asker down and the asker will keep trying or refuses to get a clue! I find this really interesting and maybe I like it a bit more because it has the word conspiracy in it.
This was a really easy book to read. very understandable and it also gives you advice. I didn't agree on everything in this book and sometimes it sounded textbook-like. Although that is what it is I suppose.
*this is a dutch book